Despaired Disrepaired...

Not a very good weekend.

My internet connection has been dead for a day or so.  Luckily it means I haven't been able to update myfitnesspal charts.

Yesterday I had McDonalds.

So today I was going to fast.

But...

I feel so rough I actually fell asleep for most of the afternoon, leaving the kiddies to their own devices.  Thankfully they are extremely well behaved and sensible.  I awoke to no major disasters and found they had been playing 'schools' and bouncing on the trampoline.

I was going to fast but I'm too wobbly to cook so have ordered pizza for the children.  Normally I would be able to resist but I'm doubting that will happen today.  My body knows it needs energy and quick.

There is a fine line between wanting to desperately lose weight and the fear of passing out when there isn't another adult around.  It would be terrible to scare them like that.

My weight this morning was 108.8lbs.  I'm calling it at 109 still. 

That means my weight loss this week is 4lbs.

Oh and I've been wearing one of those step counters.  In a week I have walked just over 15miles.  Not bad for a cripple!!

Tomorrow I am jumping back on the wagon.  Hopefully I will lose another 3lbs next week.

Physiotherapy was a bit disappointing.  I've got some really simple exercises to do that in no way will help me burn fat or really build muscle.  The physio said it will be at least six months before I get enough strength back in my hips to exercise properly.  And by properly I still mean at a really low intensity.


It sucks. 

I miss running so much, miss going to the gym, feeling the burn and knowing that I am not just filling my body up with calories that are going to sit and turn to fat!

He (the physio) also warned me that if I try and do too much I will only cause more damage.  he said I should work at 75% of my ability and not let it get to the point where it is really hurting.  ACK! This means I can do about 4 leg pushy thingys a day.  That is so pathetic.

I tried doing them in the bath earlier.  I thought the water might help take some of the pressure off.  I did about 6 on each leg but I think even that is risky.  I couldn't really walk afterwards then crashed out in bed.

So for now all I can do is restrict restrict restrict.

Sigh.

Maybe I should just lay down and keep rolling around the floor on my side for hours LOL! 

I'll tell the kids I am training for a hill rolling competition.